OCTOBER 8 UPDATE
COMMITMENTS
Katie Vickers, SS/ SC Athletics (Ringor) to
Mackenzi Magenheimer, 2B, KC Xtreme, to
Meghan Crouse OF , Committed to
Alexis Garcia, 1st,c, OC Batbusters-Davis, to Univ of Wisconsin-Madison
Katelyn Smith - P/1B - previously with So Ca Stealth - to
Nicole Robinson, SS, Sparks 18U, to University of Illinois-Chicago
Lauren Breenan, 3rd,P, Sparks 18U, to
Lisa Hill, DH -1st - OF,
Lindsey Laas - P, 1st,-
Shannon Doepking, CA Stealth, verballed with the University of
Tennessee-Knoxville
MORE ON MISSING
PLAYER
FBI issues
fugitive warrant for softball coach
The Associated Press
10/8/2003, 4:08 p.m. PT
BEAVERTON, Ore. (AP) — The FBI issued a nationwide arrest warrant Wednesday
for Andrew James Garver, a Beaverton softball coach who police believe ran off
last month with a teenage player. The fugitive warrant indicates that
officials believe Garver, 38, has crossed state or international lines, said
Beth Anne Steele, FBI spokeswoman.
Garver and 15-year-old Michelle Elizabeth Smith were last seen Sept. 26, when
the girl left a note saying she was running away. Neither showed up for a
softball game last week and Garver has not been at work.
Smith has since turned 16.
Officer Mark Hyde, spokesman for the
MICROSOFT VS GM
(our thanks to Jay
Miller for this ditty)
At a
recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the
computer industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up
with
technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that
got
1,000 miles to the gallon." In response to Gates' comments, General Motors
issued a press release (by Mr. Welch himself) stating: If GM had developed
technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following
characteristics:
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you would have to buy a
new car.
3. Occasionally, your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you
would just accept it, restart and drive on.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your
car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to
reinstall the engine.
5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought
"Car95" or
"CarNT." But then you would have to buy more seats.
6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable, five
times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on 5% of the
roads.
7. The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced
by a single "general car default" warning light.
8. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.
9. The airbag system would say, "Are you sure?" before going off.
10. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and
refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned
the key, and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand
McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need them nor
want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's
performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for
investigation by the Justice Department.
12. Every time GM introduced a new model, car buyers would have to learn how
to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same
manner as the old car.
13. You'd press the "start" button to shut off the engine.