UPDATING OTHER
NEWS
(this report comes to
you from
COMMITMENTS
Cori Blanton Inf Valley Breeze Gold to
Jaclyn Duree Of Valley Breeze Gold to
Tiffany Dismore, OF,
Courtney Bures, SS, VA Shamrocks, to
Kari Bettenbrock, IF,
THE MIDWESTERN TOURNAMENT
While SPY is in
De Paul 5
Loyola 4
Northwestern 5 De Paul 4
Loyola 4 Univ. of Chicago Illinois 2
De Paul 4 Univ. of Chicago Illinois 2
Northwestern 8 Loyola 5
Northwestern 5 Univ. of Chicago Illinois 4
MEN’S RULES
Several readers have sent us this item (all male no doubt); this version is from Ronnie Lombard:
To my
female friends: Pleas remember this is a joke not for youu to take very
seriously!!!!!!!
-----
We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are
the rules from the Male side. These are men's rules!! Please note...
these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!!!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's
up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us
complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the
tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of
it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle
hints to not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not
work! Just say it.
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. If
fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you don't dress like the
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other way.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done,
Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act
like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the
hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you
don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...
Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am a shape. Round is a shape.
1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the
couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.
end